6:35: First pitch, first beer cracked. I’m nervous about not having McCann, especially playing the Red Sox. At least Cody Ross is a major league player, unlike Corky Miller.
6:39: No Ellsbury is a good sign. Nice pitch from Jurrjens. I’m also still violently hungover. This first beer is a struggle.
6:40: Nice, quick inning from Jurrjens. He keeping the ball down very well, hopefully he remembers that the Braves can’t score more than 2 runs for him.
6:43: McLouth jumps on the first pitch, but it’s a long lineout. Beckett is going to be tough. I usually like for our hitters to see a few more pitches, but you can’t really criticize McLouth.
6:44: I like Prado way more than Kelly. However, much like Kelly, Prado hits an easy grounder to second.
6:46: I really hope the offense shows up tonight. Otherwise I’ll have start making up new rules, like “Grass is green, drink” or drink for every strike. Also, Chipper somehow fouled off a ball, but ultimately grounds out.
6:47: I wish Chipper and Beckett had invited me to join the Sweet Facial Hair Club. The ladies love the ginger nutduster.
6:49: Announcers are talking about the attendance. It’s good that we’re selling out, but I wish the stadium would sell out for the Braves, not their opponent.
6:50: I hate David Ortiz. I’m thrilled he popped up.
6:53: A ball hit to Chipper, THAT HE ACTUALLY CAUGHT! Really though, another good inning by JJ, minus the walk. I wish he got a few more strikeouts, but that’s only so I can drink more.
6:57: Frenchy Mini-Game time!! The guesses, from the 3 of us playing: 6-4-3 double play, fly out left, strike swinging. We almost had a winner, but Frenchy elected to just watch.
7:01: Ross rolls one to third. At least we have one hit.
7:03: How is Nick Green starting for the Red Sox? Being Nick Green, he grounds out.
7:06: We may have added a fourth member. But he is struggling to stand up. Take note of the time. Another strikeout for JJ, he’s pitching well.
7:10: Diory Hernandez double!!! 8 Seconds!!! Good start to the third. Until JJ pops up a bunt attempt. At least McLouth and Prado are coming up. We need to get something going.
7:12: HBP from McLouth, then a nice, borderline illegal slide on Nick Green. He may get hit again later, but it did break up the double play. I like the trade for him more and more every time I see him.
7:16: The Braves have almost scored more runs with 2 outs than with none or one combined. I’d like to call that clutch hitting, but my guess is dumb luck.
7:17: Great pitch by Beckett to strike out Chipper. Typical Braves to get a lead-off double and get nothing out of it.
7:18: Trivia Question! “When was the last time the Braves led the league in being shut out? (Which they currently do)” The guesses: 1990, 1991, 1992. Not really sure why were focused on early 90’s, but my guess was 1990 since we were awful.
7:21: Nice strikeout. Hopefully JJ can stay out of trouble after that leadoff single.
7:24: Great double play. JJ is dealing tonight. On a related note, one of the other players (FlexSteel) just threw in a horseshoe dip. This should be entertaining.
7:25: Trivia Answer: 1988. Nobody wins, so everybody drinks. On a related note, I’m feeling better.
7:28: Great start to the bottom of the 4th. Two straight singles, sadly Frenchy comes up. Mini-Game time. Our guesses? 6-4-3 double play, strikeout looking, and the rare single.
7:31: Frenchy struck out on an awful pitch? I wish I could bet on things like that. Help me out Vegas.
7:34: The announcers are talking about Beckett’s legs. They forgot to call “no-homo”.
7:36: And a weak tapper by Diory ends the inning. I am not remotely surprised we did not score despite having 2 runners on and no outs.
7:39: I am conflicted about this game. Beckett is on my fantasy team, and I usually try to not start my pitchers against the Braves but forgot to remove him today. I still want the Braves to get about 8 runs off of him, though.
7:40: I hate David Ortiz even more now. That was a bomb.
7:45: Good pitch to get the strikeout. Beckett looks totally disinterested at the plate, like he has no desire to be up to bat. Nice pitch by JJ to notch his 6th strikeout of the night.
7:49: The announcers are still talking about the All-American Rejects. Please stop talking about them. Inform people they are playing at Turner Field and move on.
7:50: Beckett almost gets trucked by David Ortiz on a pop up by the Braves dugout. Shockingly, JJ is having a good at-bat and making Beckett throw some pitches.
7:52: JJ works Beckett for 9 pitches, so his strikeout is not totally worthless. That also means that at-bat by JJ was better than any at-bat Frenchy has had in the past month.
7:55: Hopefully McLouth tries to take 2nd here. Veritek isn’t near where he used to be, and it would be a good RBI chance for Chipper. After 3 pitches, he hasn’t moved, and on the 4th pitch of the at-bat, Chipper grounds out to end the inning. I hate the Braves offense.
7:58: One commercial just took up the entire commercial break. What company dropped that sort of bank?
8:00: A chant of “Let’s Go Red Sox” can be heard on TV in Turner Field. That is embarrassing for all Braves fans.
8:01: A balk by JJ moves Pedroia to 3rd with no outs. And J.D. Drew grounds out to 2nd to bring in Pedroia. Interesting move by having the whole infield in except Prado. Maybe he supposed to be there since Drew pulls it so much, maybe he missed a signal. Either way, the good guys are down 2-0 now.
8:05: JJ gets
8:07: National Lampoon’s European Vacation has me more excited than the Braves offense.
8:09: Horrendous swing to strike out by
8:10: Kotchman gets another hit, bringing him to 3/3. Apparently Frenchy’s intro music is Kenny Chesney. Among all of the problems I have with Frenchy’s offensive game, this one is near the top.
8:11: A 6-4-3 double play! We have a winner in the Frenchy Mini-Game! Sadly, winning the Mini-Game means the Braves ultimately lose.
8:14: David Ortiz pops out. Good.
8:18: After David Ross catches Kotsay trying to steal, I realize there is no rule for a caught stealing. I’ll throw in 5 seconds for a caught stealing.
8:24: Great play by Green to get Hernandez. We have little to no offense and aren’t even getting any luck. And then Beckett strikes out JJ to end the inning. We’ve got a nice pitching duel here, which sucks for me because that means you drink less.
8:29: Only 84 pitches for JJ through 7 innings. Good night for JJ, but gives up a lead off walk to start the 8th.
8:36: And now the Braves are down 3-0. It would be nice if the Braves could manufacture a run or two.
8:38: JJ in a little bit of trouble here with 2 on and only one out. Hopefully JJ can get Youkilis to ground into a double play.
8:41: Another balk by JJ. Bobby comes out, he may extend his lead for career ejections. Sadly he does not. I’m with Bobby, I didn’t see a balk there, but now there’s no double play.
8:43: And we get a special play. A wild pitch and then a pick off of Youkilis who thought about taking 2nd after the walk, but got picked off 1st. Ends with the Sox having 2 outs, but plate their fourth run.
8:47: Grounder to first ends the inning. Braves need a bunch of offense very quickly.
8:50: Good start to the 8th for the Braves, as long as McLouth didn’t hurt himself. He gets pulled, though. If McLouth is out, the Braves are done. Blanco replaces McLouth after the error by Okajima.
8:55: After a walk by Prado we now have runners on 1st and 2nd for Chipper. But instead of the typical good at-bat by Chipper, we get one that resembles a Frenchy at-bat. Awful at-bat for Chipper, hopefully
8:59: Another reminder that we are under .500. And then a strikeout looking by Garret Anderson after he swung at a pitch at his eyes. I hate our offense. Kotchman is 3/3, hopefully he can make it 4/4 and break up this shut out.
9:02: Kotchman strikes out. I am not remotely surprised that, for the second time tonight, the Braves get 2 runners on with no outs and don’t get a single run.
9:04: That’s a good stat to see that Mike G. and Soriano are 2 and 3 in strikeouts by relievers. It would be even better if we could ever get a lead for them to protect.
9:07: Ellsbury is falling over while swinging, but is still fighting off pitches. And now Gonzalez throws the ball juuuuust a bit outside. Finally he strikes him out with a nasty slider.
9:10: Gonzalez is a key player in the Braves Drinking Game. Those strikeouts really help.
9:12: And Gonzalez strikes out the side. Fantastic inning for the Braves Drinking Game. Now all we need is a Mike Gonzalez grand slam to really get this party started. But really getting any runs off of Papelbon (a.k.a. Pap-Smear) will be tough.
9:15: Frenchy Mini-Game! The guesses are strikeout swinging, pop out right (definitely not happening) and a groundout to short. Shockingly, he takes the first pitch, but flies out to short. Nobody wins. Again.
9:16: Cody Ross is now up. Well crap.
9:17: CODY ROSS HOMERUN! A solid 9 second batch, but Kelly Johnson flies out in a pinch hitting appearance.
9:19: I just got a text saying the Braves should convert Ross to a corner outfielder or second. That is actually a great idea. Second isn’t realistic, but Ross cannot be a worse leftfielder than Garrett Anderson. There is no way. And he is a better hitter than Frenchy.
9:20: And now we’re threatening after a Brian McCann pinch hit double.
9:23: But Gregor Blanco strikes out to end the game. I guess it’s good we didn’t get shutout but it still sucks. Man, I really hate our offense.
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