How to Get Through a Jeff Francoeur At-Bat

While it may be true that they tend to be short, many just one pitch, in fact, watching a Jeff Francoeur or Kelly Johnson at-bat can be a truly painful experience. To help Braves fans everywhere come to grips with these unfortunate displays of baseball, my brother, The Ginger-Beard, has compiled, for all on them internets to see, The Braves Drinking Game. The rules, of course, follow:

Braves Drinking Game - designed to be played with your favorite light beer

Braves on Offense

• Single - Drink 1 second
• Double - 2 seconds
• Triple - 3 seconds
• Homerun - 4 seconds
• Inside-the-Park HR - 6 seconds
• Walk - 1 second
• Hit-By-Pitch - 3 seconds
• Opponent Error - 3 seconds + 1 second per base gained on error

Example: infield groundball thrown away, runner reaches 2^nd, 5 seconds

• Runners Advance on Play - 1 second per base advanced
• Stolen Base - 3 seconds for 2^nd base, 5 seconds for 3^rd base
• RBI - Additional 1 second per RBI. So 2 run HR is 6 seconds
• Jeff Francoeur Walk - 8 seconds
• Jeff Francoeur Mini-game - When Francoeur begins walking to the plate, each player shouts out what he thinks will occur. Players must be as specific as possible (“Ground out to Short” or “Fly Out to Left” or “Strike Out Swinging”). If nobody guesses correctly, all players drink 3 seconds. If somebody guesses correctly, losing players drink 5 seconds.

• Multipliers - Multiply all Hits by these players.

Starting Pitchers - x4

Relief Pitchers - x6

David Ross - x2

Diory Hernandez - x3

Jeff Francoeur - x2

Gregor Blanco - x3

Kelly Johnson - x2

Example: Tim Hudson hits a double, 2x4= 8 seconds

Braves on Defense

• Out - 1 second per out
• Double Play - 3 seconds + seconds per outs
• Runner Thrown Out From OF - Bonus 5 seconds
• Run-down - 1 extra second per throws made
• Strike Out Swinging - 3 seconds
• Strike Out Looking - 5 seconds
• Pitching change - 1 second per inning pitch
• Potential Web-Gem Nominee - 7 seconds

Any Time

• Braves Player Ejected - 3 seconds
• Opposing Player Ejected - 5 seconds
• Bobby Cox Ejected - 10 seconds
• Phillies loss - 5 seconds
• Mets loss - 5 seconds
• Marlins loss - 3 seconds
• Nationals loss - 2 seconds
• Hot Girl in the Stands - 3 seconds
• Tomahawk Chop - When the Chop begins, everybody must start chopping. The last player to begin chopping must finish their beer. If a player goes to the bathroom, they are still playing and must chop.
• Trivia Question - Every player gets 1 unique guess for trivia questions. If the answer contains 3 players, only 1 player must be different to be unique. If any player of the BDG answers trivia question correctly, all others must drink for 8 seconds.
• Obscure Statistic - 3 seconds

Example: Kelly Johnson is hitting .384 with runners on 2^nd and 3^rd and a 2-1 count.

To celebrate the publishing of The Braves Drinking Game, The Ginger-Beard will be chiming in with a live blog of tomorrow's matchup between Josh Beckett and Jair Jurrjens (which I will have to post Saturday). May this game guide Braves fans through Jeff Bennett appearances, balls booted by Chipper, and inexplicable plays by The Cuban Missile for years to come.