7/11/09 - Braves 4, Rockies 3: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

• The MLB Network broadcasting Joe and Boog
• Conrad's hustle on his grounder in the 2nd, allowing Mac to score after GA moved him over
• JJ scoring Conrad (through a stop sign) on another hustle play by the second baseman
• Soriano in the 9th (3 K's)

The Bad

• Prado jogging on the tag from second in the 5th, nearly costing the Braves a run

And The Ugly

• Joe likes Lady GaGa
• Whatever happened when Moylan's pitch went off Mac's mask, allowing the third Rockies run

Retro Live Blog

Another live blog from the Ginger Beard of Javier Vazquez's gem. Kids, don't try this at home.

7:00 : Time for the second running diary of The Braves Drinking Game. Things could be a little strange since I have to watch it on WGN, the local Chicago network, and so will have to deal with the Cubs announcers. In order to compensate, I have elected to begin the game with a Sparks. If you are unfamiliar with the beverage, it is a “premium malt beverage with natural flavor, certified color & FD&C yellow number five”. Also, it is 6% alcohol by volume.

7:02 : Just heard that Javier Vazquez is pitching. He is the ideal pitcher for the BDG. I like where this is going.

7:05: A few more rules for tonight's game. Back when this game was created, we would always drink to a Pete Orr sighting. Now, we have decided on Eddie Perez. He always looks happy, so I can drink to that. Since it is an away game, we will also be drinking to any Braves fan in the stands.

7:06 : Even though Zambrano is going on short rest, it will be tough without Chipper. Seems like a pretty telling sight that Conrad is playing 2nd and not KJ, even though Zambrano is a righty.

7:08: Zambrano working very quickly. After a McLouth walk and Prado sacrifice, McLouth almost gets picked off of second. Anderson grounds out to second, allowing McLlouth to make it to 3rd with 2 outs and McCann up to bat.

7:09 : And the Braves take the lead! McCann RBI single to right.

7:11 : The Cuban Missile strikes out on a high fastball. Not a bad inning by Zambrano, but the Braves get a run.

7:12 : After running the count full, Fukudome strikes out to start it out for the Cubs.

7:16 : A nice defensive play by Escobar to get Theriot.

7:18 : And Vazquez gets the strikeout on Lee to end the inning. Solid first inning by the Bravos, hopefully they can keep it going. Vazquez looked pretty solid, and maybe the offense will be able to get another run or two off Zambrano.

7:20 : Kotchman starts out the 2nd by grounding out to first. Some great defensive first basemen in this game with Kotchman and Lee over there.

7:21 : Since Frenchy somehow hit the ball to opposite field, everybody loses the Frenchy Mini-Game.

7:22 : I think Conrad gets a x3 multiplier. He was hitting well in AAA, but hasn't looked awesome.

7:23 : Well Conrad shows me. After a solid 9 second hit, I think Conrad might deserve a x2 multiplier. Sadly, Vazquez follows him with a groundout to short to end the inning.

7:26 : And the Cubs clean-up hitter starts out the bottom half of the 2nd with a single to right.

7:27 : Ramirez just misses a double by pushing it foul down the right field line. Scary moment.

7:28 : The Cubs announcers just describe Ramirez's swing as “very violent”. Interesting way to describe a talented hitter's swing. He ends up with a single to bring up Soriano. He's pretty fast, so it could be tough to double him up.

7:32 : And Soriano strikes out for the first out of the inning. Cubs fans boo him, which they probably should. On top of a disappointing year, that was a pretty poor at-bat. More than a few Cubbies are probably annoyed he is under contract for a while.

7:35 : One of the guys playing the BDG just burnt popcorn. This is miserable. And he has had less than a beer. Yes, not even a beer.

7:37 : Great over the shoulder catch by McLouth after a long at-bat by Fontenot. Koyie Hill, the back-up to Geovany Soto, comes to bat.

7:40 : Hill runs the count full with 2 outs, putting the runners into motion early. Hill gets the RBI after a solid at-bat. McLouth makes a decent play to hold Ramirez at second, but he could have been caught in a run-down.

7:43 : Zambrano up to bat, but this is no easy out. He is a solid hitter that really likes to take his cuts up there.

7:44 : Vazquez strikes out Zambrano to end the inning.

7:46 : McLouth grounds out to short to start out the Braves half of the 3rd.

7:48 : I just found out KJ went on the DL for a wrist injury. Either way, Prado is usually the starter and he singles to right. Anderson will probably just ground into a double play anyway.

7:50 : Well he struck out. That's a little better. He has to be the worst 3 hole hitter in any game tonight.

7:52 : McCann doubles to right to bring in Prado from 1st. He really is great to have. The Cuban Missile up to bat now.

7:54 : Escobar whiffs badly on the same pitch twice. I wish the cameras had stayed on him long enough to capture his reaction.

7:57 : After his 5th strike out in 10 batters, Vazquez retakes MVP of the BDG from McCann. He follows up the strikeout to Fukudome with a great defensive play.

7:59 : And Vazquez retires the side quickly. Another good inning for the Braves.

8:01 : Kotchman takes a walk on 4 pitches to bring up Frenchy. The guesses are a double play to short and a single to left.

8:04 : And he strikes out on a pitch at the eyes. Should have known.

8:05 : Conrad almost gets a seeing-eye single, but Fontenot tracks it down. Still advancaes the runner. Maybe Vazquez could help himself out here.

8:06 : Vazquez grounds out to end the inning. Zambrano has slowed down a lot, maybe we can get to the bullpen pretty early tonight.

8:09 : The Cubs announcers began the inning by talking about how impressive Vazquez has been this year. Hopefully more people will look past his records and into the other stats to see just how incredible he has been.

8:11: Prado catches a little flair to 3rd to get the first out of the inning. On the next pitch Conrad makes a great diving stop on a ball off the side of the mound to get Ramirez.

8:13: The WGN cameras show a guy creepily stroking the arm of a girl who looks incredibly uncomfortable. I'll drink to that. Soriano up to bat.

8:14: Soriano singles on Vazquez's 65th pitch of the night. Of those 65, 50 have been strikes. That's an amazing rate.

8:17: Fontenot grounds out to end the inning. The Braves bring the top of the order up, maybe we can get an insurance run or two for Vazquez.

8:21: And Zambrano quickly retires McLouth and Prado to start the 5th. I don't know if WGN completely lacks a trivia game or if we just missed it. Either way, I'm fairly disappointed.

8:22: Anderson walks to bring up McCann. A two run homer here would be awesome. Instead he just misses a double down the line and strikes out looking on a great pitch to end the inning.

8:27: McCann starts out the bottom of the 5th with a great/lucky play to get Hill, which is followed up by a nice diving play by Escobar to get Zambrano.

8:28: Also, Zambrano is a switch hitter?

8:29: Another quick inning by Vazquez. And a Natural Light commercial!! “natastrophe- the unfortunate loss or destruction of one's Natty Light”. Do you really need to advertise for beer that costs under 70 cents per can?

8:31: WGN gives out a player of the game in the 6th inning. Does that make sense to anybody? And it was given to Zambrano, not Vazquez. Everything about that situation is incorrect.

8:33: Kotchman hits a looping single with one out. Same guesses for the Frenchy Mini-game, and again nobody wins. Still, he hits it to right again, so maybe that's a good sign for him.

8:35: I'll drink to Brooks Conrad not wearing batting gloves. Good for him.

8:38: But Conrad strikes out. The announcers seem to think Zambrano is done for the night, which is probably good for the Braves.

8:39: One of the guys playing the BDG just said “the only way to eat a Pop-Tart is get the unfrosted kind and put butter on it.” I am appalled.

8:42: Vazquez gets the first batter of the inning to ground out. Even though Theriot is on my fantasy team, I want nothing more than for him to strikeout every time he gets up for the next couple of games.

8:46: And Vazquez gets Lee to strike out. I missed the third out.

8:49: Another Natty Light commercial!! “natapult- the act of launching a Natty Light as to eliminate time or movement.” God Bless America.

8:50: Cox sends Vazquez up there. I guess it makes sense, he's looked great and was leading off the inning. I can't see him going more than 7, though, with Gonzalez and Soriano in the pen.

8:51: The WGN cameras just showed a little kid with a Red Sox hat and Cubs sweater. I can't blame him for that, but I can blame his parents. He should be a fan of one or the other, not both.

8:55: And McLouth gets a one out double. We really should be able to get him home with Prado and, I guess, Anderson up. I still don't like Anderson there.

8:57: And Prado hits a looping flyout to right. Please prove me wrong, Anderson.

9:01: Anderson gets one friendly call, and then an obvious one to run the count full. After fouling a few off, he flies out to left to end the Braves threat. And now we get the traditional Take Me Out to The Ball Game. By some guy I have never heard of. Whatever.

9:17: After a brief hiatus in which I missed the entire 7th inning, I return to see Vazquez has kept it together. After 108 pitches, he is probably done. McCann almost beats out an infield single, but is somehow called out. I disagree, but neither McCann nor Hubbard were too angry about the call.

9:20: The Cuban Missile hits a little flair to Lee for the second out of the inning.

9:21: And Kotchman taps out to the pitcher to end the inning. From the way the announcers were talking, Cox will send Mike Gonzalez in for the 8th. Gonzo is a solid player for the BDG.

9:24: The always crazy Milton Bradley takes the first pitch of the inning to left, but Anderson snags it for the first out of the 8th.

9:26: A fly out to left notches the 2nd out of the inning. The Cubs announcers are criticizing Gonzo for his delivery, but I have no doubt in my mind that both of them would bend over backward for the chance to have him as their closer over Gregg.

9:28: Theriot gets a good bounce off the right field wall to grab a double off of Gonzo. Immediately afterwards, Lee flies out to Prado to end the inning and the threat. Let's see if we can an insurance run or two.

9:31: And everybody loses again. Shockingly, nobody guessed infield single to short. There cannot have been very many of those this year, right? For anybody?

9:33: And Conrad lays down a beautiful bunt. After a second straight infield single, Diaz comes up with a great chance to add a few runs.

9:34: But, instead, Diaz pops up trying to sacrifice. I would rather let him swing away than bunt. He knows how to hit and runs hard, so it would be tough to double him up. If you want to bunt throw Blanco in there, or maybe even a pitcher. Diaz cannot practice bunting often, if ever.

9:36: And McLouth flies out to left for the 2nd out of the inning. Hopefully Prado can get us something out of this inning.

9:38: Prado runs the count full, letting Frenchy and Conrad get a running start. Both can move, but Fontenot makes a diving stop to just beat Prado at first. Headed into the bottom of the 9th, Braves lead 2-1.

9:41: Soriano comes in to try and pick up the save. It will not be an easy task with the cleanup hitter(whose name I can't spell) Ramirez and Soriano up for the Cubs.

9:42: And the first batter for the Cubs lines out to deep center. One down.

9:47: Where the hell was Escobar on that Soriano single? He wasn't even on the screen. Was the Cuban Missile playing him to that much of a pull?

9:50: Braves win!!! Solid inning by Soriano, and Vazquez finally gets a win. It's a shame they only got 2 runs, but I guess we can get away with it while Vazquez is on the mound. And any win the Bravos get with Chipper out is a huge plus. Well that brings us to 1-1 on the year while writing a running diary of the BDG. I plan on doing this more, so maybe this could become like Frenchy's Turkey Underwear.

Links: Scouring Them Internets So You Don't Have To

• Lance Niekro, nephew of Phil, made his debut as a knuckleballer the other night.

• Bleacher Report gets to the root of KJ and Francouer's woes.

• There are two things in these pictures of Jenna Jameson that I'm not used to. The first is that she looks awful.

• Carlos Delgado is insecure.

• I hate these people, but love this website.

• The Man Wall. I'm speechless. (via Joe Posnanski)

• Apparently we just missed out on Jason Bay last year, who has 19 HRs and 70 RBIs. (via Chop-N-Change)

7/1/09 - Phillies 1, Braves 11: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

• Jurrjens (7 IP, 1 H, 0 ER) no hitting the NL's leading offense for 6.2 innings
• Martin Prado's 2 RBI double and scoring from first on Chipper's double
• Francoeur's opposite field single after a few that way last night
• Diaz's homer in 5th. Vying for a job?
• Diory Hernandez's first major league homerun and his hustle on The Cuban Missile's infield single
• Medlen and Acosta in the 8th and 9th: 1 H, 0 BB
• Kelly Johnson's saying all the right things after his benching

The Bad

• Mac's throws to second on steals by Rollins and Victorino
• He's human: Prado's error in the 6th
• KJ striking out... Hate to see it

And The Ugly

• Courtney Love

Look on the Bright Side

As it gets harder and harder for me to watch the Braves, between the physical and mental errors, I thought maybe we could take a look at the one bright spot for this team: the starting pitching. We'll look at the year each pitcher is having as well as his contract status, then finish up with what all this means moving forward.

Derek Lowe

The Braves's so-called ace, he of the 36 years of age and 4 year, $60 million contract, has pitched pretty well overall this year. Through his first 13 starts, he was 7-3 with a solid 3.44 ERA. After getting roughed up in two of his June starts, his ERA jumped to 4.53 and his record fell to 7-6. For the year, most of his relevant statistics are up, though that seems to be a product of those two awful outings. Lowe is one of the hardest workers on the team and as consistent as they come, so I'm not worried about him this year. That big contract, though, signed probably out of panic after this past winter's Smoltz fiasco, is going to come back on the Braves eventually.

Jair Jurrjens

To say the Jurrjens has continued to progress after last year's solid performance would be an understatement. Though the walks are a little high (3.2/9), he has pitched out of his mind this year, sporting a 2.93 ERA and .227 BAA. Given any sort of run support, he would be heading for his first all-star game appearance in a couple of weeks. He is arbirtration eligible until 2013, meaning that he should be pitching for the good guys for years to come.

Javier Vazquez

The Braves got more than they bargained for when the acquired Vazquez this past winter. He leads the league in strikeouts per nine (10.5) and has an ERA almost as outstanding as Jurrjens's (3.05). His walk ratio of 1.9/9 is the best on the staff by a long shot. He also leads the staff in innings pitched at 106.2 and WHIP at 1.059. Simply put, Vazquez has dominated this year and would also be headed to the all-star game with a little run support. At $11.5 million this year and next, his contract is pretty good considering the production.

Kenshin Kawakami

Kawakami certainly gave Braves fans cause for concern early this year after signing a 3 year, $23 million contract. However, he has seemingly settled down, with very respectable, if not downright good, stats since May 5th. In 10 starts, he has posted a 3.18 ERA, 6.7 K/9, 1.245 WHIP, and a .239 BAA. His next start will be skipped to allow him a little more time to recover from the liner of his neck in his last start. Though it was a scary situation, this may actually help him by keeping his workload down a little. I honestly don't know if this recent performance is a sign of things to come or a lucky streak.

Tommy Hanson

After adrenaline got the best of him in his first start, Hanson settled down and has given Braves fan a glimpse of the talent that has had scouts everywhere raving. He has won every game since that first start while posting a .222 BAA and a 2.48 ERA. In his last two starts, he threw 11.1 scoreless innings against the juggernauts of the AL East, the Sox and the Yankees. He even walked only two hitters in his last start, down from the worrisome 5.3/9 he sports thus far. Besides the fastball clocked up to 95 mph and the nasty off speed stuff, I have been impressed with his poise and the confidence that he has showed against some formidable lineups. His performance has already given him a great shot at the Rookie of the Year. Every Braves fan with a pulse has to be excited to watch this kid for plenty years.

Kris Medlen

I am, admittedly, bitter about Medlen's move to the bullpen. After two rough appearances that saw Medlen give up 9 runs over 8.1 innings, he pitched beautifully in his last game: 6 IP, 4 H, 1 BB, 9 K. His control was the major issue in those first two starts, but he found it in the last one, throwing 62.6% strikes. His minor league 2.0 BB/9 ratio indicates that the first two starts were probably the product of nerves more than anything. I understand that with the promotion of Hanson, there isn't any room in the rotation for Medlen, but moving him to the bullpen, where he made only 4 appearances in all of June, is not the solution for a young pitcher who has showed a lot of promise. He has to be sent down where he can continue to develop as a starter.

Jo-Jo Reyes

I've got to believe Braves fans have (thankfully) seen the last of Jo-Jo in Atlanta. In 5 starts this season, 19 runs for an ERA of 6.58. Some career numbers over three years with the Braves: 5-15, 6.09 ERA, 1.631 WHIP, 4.5 BB/9.

Tim Hudson

He hasn't pitched yet this year, but I included him because he is relevant to the discussion of the Braves's future. He'll be 33 next year, and he has a mutual option that stands to pay him $12 million next season. He should be back in August in time to make a few appearances.

So how will all of this play out this winter (or perhaps sooner)? Well, there are obviously a few guys that are here to stay. Jurrjens and Hanson should be front liners on this staff for a while. Lowe's contract and age make him all but untradeable. I think I'm OK with this. While I don't love the contract, he does give the Braves an ace with playoff experience and a great clubhouse guy. Plus, he will hopefully take the young guys under his wing. Kawakami is harder to gauge. If his recent performance is the pitcher the Braves signed, he may prove a steal at about $8 mil a year. However, if he is somewhere between how he started and how he has fared lately (which I think is about right), he will be difficult to move with that salary. Even if someone wanted him, I'm not sure it's worth giving up the international interest. Working under the assumption that the Braves will have Kawakami through the terms of his contract, that leaves four of the five starters' roles filled. With Hudson's return in August, the Braves have a big decision to make. Medlen is currently wasting away in the bullpen, while Vazquez has, as I said above, been outstanding this year. That's three pitchers for one spot. I have already made my opinion on this known, any one else have any thoughts?

What Happens When You Listen to Me? This.

As promised, a retro-live blog from last nights Braves-Red Sox game. Shockingly, the Braves scored an entire run. Note that the time stamps are CST:

6:35: First pitch, first beer cracked. I’m nervous about not having McCann, especially playing the Red Sox. At least Cody Ross is a major league player, unlike Corky Miller.

6:39: No Ellsbury is a good sign. Nice pitch from Jurrjens. I’m also still violently hungover. This first beer is a struggle.

6:40: Nice, quick inning from Jurrjens. He keeping the ball down very well, hopefully he remembers that the Braves can’t score more than 2 runs for him.

6:43: McLouth jumps on the first pitch, but it’s a long lineout. Beckett is going to be tough. I usually like for our hitters to see a few more pitches, but you can’t really criticize McLouth.

6:44: I like Prado way more than Kelly. However, much like Kelly, Prado hits an easy grounder to second.

6:46: I really hope the offense shows up tonight. Otherwise I’ll have start making up new rules, like “Grass is green, drink” or drink for every strike. Also, Chipper somehow fouled off a ball, but ultimately grounds out.

6:47: I wish Chipper and Beckett had invited me to join the Sweet Facial Hair Club. The ladies love the ginger nutduster.

6:49: Announcers are talking about the attendance. It’s good that we’re selling out, but I wish the stadium would sell out for the Braves, not their opponent.

6:50: I hate David Ortiz. I’m thrilled he popped up.

6:53: A ball hit to Chipper, THAT HE ACTUALLY CAUGHT! Really though, another good inning by JJ, minus the walk. I wish he got a few more strikeouts, but that’s only so I can drink more.

6:57: Frenchy Mini-Game time!! The guesses, from the 3 of us playing: 6-4-3 double play, fly out left, strike swinging. We almost had a winner, but Frenchy elected to just watch.

7:01: Ross rolls one to third. At least we have one hit.

7:03: How is Nick Green starting for the Red Sox? Being Nick Green, he grounds out.

7:06: We may have added a fourth member. But he is struggling to stand up. Take note of the time. Another strikeout for JJ, he’s pitching well.

7:10: Diory Hernandez double!!! 8 Seconds!!! Good start to the third. Until JJ pops up a bunt attempt. At least McLouth and Prado are coming up. We need to get something going.

7:12: HBP from McLouth, then a nice, borderline illegal slide on Nick Green. He may get hit again later, but it did break up the double play. I like the trade for him more and more every time I see him.

7:16: The Braves have almost scored more runs with 2 outs than with none or one combined. I’d like to call that clutch hitting, but my guess is dumb luck.

7:17: Great pitch by Beckett to strike out Chipper. Typical Braves to get a lead-off double and get nothing out of it.

7:18: Trivia Question! “When was the last time the Braves led the league in being shut out? (Which they currently do)” The guesses: 1990, 1991, 1992. Not really sure why were focused on early 90’s, but my guess was 1990 since we were awful.

7:21: Nice strikeout. Hopefully JJ can stay out of trouble after that leadoff single.

7:24: Great double play. JJ is dealing tonight. On a related note, one of the other players (FlexSteel) just threw in a horseshoe dip. This should be entertaining.

7:25: Trivia Answer: 1988. Nobody wins, so everybody drinks. On a related note, I’m feeling better.

7:28: Great start to the bottom of the 4^th. Two straight singles, sadly Frenchy comes up. Mini-Game time. Our guesses? 6-4-3 double play, strikeout looking, and the rare single.

7:31: Frenchy struck out on an awful pitch? I wish I could bet on things like that. Help me out Vegas.

7:34: The announcers are talking about Beckett’s legs. They forgot to call “no-homo”.

7:36: And a weak tapper by Diory ends the inning. I am not remotely surprised we did not score despite having 2 runners on and no outs.

7:39: I am conflicted about this game. Beckett is on my fantasy team, and I usually try to not start my pitchers against the Braves but forgot to remove him today. I still want the Braves to get about 8 runs off of him, though.

7:40: I hate David Ortiz even more now. That was a bomb.

7:45: Good pitch to get the strikeout. Beckett looks totally disinterested at the plate, like he has no desire to be up to bat. Nice pitch by JJ to notch his 6^th strikeout of the night.

7:49: The announcers are still talking about the All-American Rejects. Please stop talking about them. Inform people they are playing at Turner Field and move on.

7:50: Beckett almost gets trucked by David Ortiz on a pop up by the Braves dugout. Shockingly, JJ is having a good at-bat and making Beckett throw some pitches.

7:52: JJ works Beckett for 9 pitches, so his strikeout is not totally worthless. That also means that at-bat by JJ was better than any at-bat Frenchy has had in the past month.

7:55: Hopefully McLouth tries to take 2^nd here. Veritek isn’t near where he used to be, and it would be a good RBI chance for Chipper. After 3 pitches, he hasn’t moved, and on the 4^th pitch of the at-bat, Chipper grounds out to end the inning. I hate the Braves offense.

7:58: One commercial just took up the entire commercial break. What company dropped that sort of bank? Nashville Auto-Diesel College. Good to know I still have options. Hernandez misses on a tough chopper and Pedroia takes 2^nd on some heads-up baserunning.

8:00: A chant of “Let’s Go Red Sox” can be heard on TV in Turner Field. That is embarrassing for all Braves fans.

8:01: A balk by JJ moves Pedroia to 3^rd with no outs. And J.D. Drew grounds out to 2^nd to bring in Pedroia. Interesting move by having the whole infield in except Prado. Maybe he supposed to be there since Drew pulls it so much, maybe he missed a signal. Either way, the good guys are down 2-0 now.

8:05: JJ gets Jason Bay to fly out just shy of the warning track to end the top of the 6^th. The Braves really need to the offense going to get a win. And so I can continue consuming “the smooth pilsner with all-natural ingredients”.

8:07: National Lampoon’s European Vacation has me more excited than the Braves offense.

8:09: Horrendous swing to strike out by Anderson. If Beckett keeps pitching how he has been, the Braves may get shut out for the ninth time this year.

8:10: Kotchman gets another hit, bringing him to 3/3. Apparently Frenchy’s intro music is Kenny Chesney. Among all of the problems I have with Frenchy’s offensive game, this one is near the top.

8:11: A 6-4-3 double play! We have a winner in the Frenchy Mini-Game! Sadly, winning the Mini-Game means the Braves ultimately lose.

8:14: David Ortiz pops out. Good.

8:18: After David Ross catches Kotsay trying to steal, I realize there is no rule for a caught stealing. I’ll throw in 5 seconds for a caught stealing.

8:24: Great play by Green to get Hernandez. We have little to no offense and aren’t even getting any luck. And then Beckett strikes out JJ to end the inning. We’ve got a nice pitching duel here, which sucks for me because that means you drink less.

8:29: Only 84 pitches for JJ through 7 innings. Good night for JJ, but gives up a lead off walk to start the 8^th.

8:36: And now the Braves are down 3-0. It would be nice if the Braves could manufacture a run or two.

8:38: JJ in a little bit of trouble here with 2 on and only one out. Hopefully JJ can get Youkilis to ground into a double play.

8:41: Another balk by JJ. Bobby comes out, he may extend his lead for career ejections. Sadly he does not. I’m with Bobby, I didn’t see a balk there, but now there’s no double play.

8:43: And we get a special play. A wild pitch and then a pick off of Youkilis who thought about taking 2^nd after the walk, but got picked off 1^st. Ends with the Sox having 2 outs, but plate their fourth run.

8:47: Grounder to first ends the inning. Braves need a bunch of offense very quickly.

8:50: Good start to the 8^th for the Braves, as long as McLouth didn’t hurt himself. He gets pulled, though. If McLouth is out, the Braves are done. Blanco replaces McLouth after the error by Okajima.

8:55: After a walk by Prado we now have runners on 1^st and 2^nd for Chipper. But instead of the typical good at-bat by Chipper, we get one that resembles a Frenchy at-bat. Awful at-bat for Chipper, hopefully Anderson can get us something out of this.

8:59: Another reminder that we are under .500. And then a strikeout looking by Garret Anderson after he swung at a pitch at his eyes. I hate our offense. Kotchman is 3/3, hopefully he can make it 4/4 and break up this shut out.

9:02: Kotchman strikes out. I am not remotely surprised that, for the second time tonight, the Braves get 2 runners on with no outs and don’t get a single run.

9:04: That’s a good stat to see that Mike G. and Soriano are 2 and 3 in strikeouts by relievers. It would be even better if we could ever get a lead for them to protect.

9:07: Ellsbury is falling over while swinging, but is still fighting off pitches. And now Gonzalez throws the ball juuuuust a bit outside. Finally he strikes him out with a nasty slider.

9:10: Gonzalez is a key player in the Braves Drinking Game. Those strikeouts really help.

9:12: And Gonzalez strikes out the side. Fantastic inning for the Braves Drinking Game. Now all we need is a Mike Gonzalez grand slam to really get this party started. But really getting any runs off of Papelbon (a.k.a. Pap-Smear) will be tough.

9:15: Frenchy Mini-Game! The guesses are strikeout swinging, pop out right (definitely not happening) and a groundout to short. Shockingly, he takes the first pitch, but flies out to short. Nobody wins. Again.

9:16: Cody Ross is now up. Well crap.

9:17: CODY ROSS HOMERUN! A solid 9 second batch, but Kelly Johnson flies out in a pinch hitting appearance.

9:19: I just got a text saying the Braves should convert Ross to a corner outfielder or second. That is actually a great idea. Second isn’t realistic, but Ross cannot be a worse leftfielder than Garrett Anderson. There is no way. And he is a better hitter than Frenchy.

9:20: And now we’re threatening after a Brian McCann pinch hit double.

9:23: But Gregor Blanco strikes out to end the game. I guess it’s good we didn’t get shutout but it still sucks. Man, I really hate our offense.

How to Get Through a Jeff Francoeur At-Bat

While it may be true that they tend to be short, many just one pitch, in fact, watching a Jeff Francoeur or Kelly Johnson at-bat can be a truly painful experience. To help Braves fans everywhere come to grips with these unfortunate displays of baseball, my brother, The Ginger-Beard, has compiled, for all on them internets to see, The Braves Drinking Game. The rules, of course, follow:

Braves Drinking Game - designed to be played with your favorite light beer

Braves on Offense

• Single - Drink 1 second
• Double - 2 seconds
• Triple - 3 seconds
• Homerun - 4 seconds
• Inside-the-Park HR - 6 seconds
• Walk - 1 second
• Hit-By-Pitch - 3 seconds
• Opponent Error - 3 seconds + 1 second per base gained on error

Example: infield groundball thrown away, runner reaches 2^nd, 5 seconds

• Runners Advance on Play - 1 second per base advanced
• Stolen Base - 3 seconds for 2^nd base, 5 seconds for 3^rd base
• RBI - Additional 1 second per RBI. So 2 run HR is 6 seconds
• Jeff Francoeur Walk - 8 seconds
• Jeff Francoeur Mini-game - When Francoeur begins walking to the plate, each player shouts out what he thinks will occur. Players must be as specific as possible (“Ground out to Short” or “Fly Out to Left” or “Strike Out Swinging”). If nobody guesses correctly, all players drink 3 seconds. If somebody guesses correctly, losing players drink 5 seconds.

• Multipliers - Multiply all Hits by these players.

Starting Pitchers - x4

Relief Pitchers - x6

David Ross - x2

Diory Hernandez - x3

Jeff Francoeur - x2

Gregor Blanco - x3

Kelly Johnson - x2

Example: Tim Hudson hits a double, 2x4= 8 seconds

Braves on Defense

• Out - 1 second per out
• Double Play - 3 seconds + seconds per outs
• Runner Thrown Out From OF - Bonus 5 seconds
• Run-down - 1 extra second per throws made
• Strike Out Swinging - 3 seconds
• Strike Out Looking - 5 seconds
• Pitching change - 1 second per inning pitch
• Potential Web-Gem Nominee - 7 seconds

Any Time

• Braves Player Ejected - 3 seconds
• Opposing Player Ejected - 5 seconds
• Bobby Cox Ejected - 10 seconds
• Phillies loss - 5 seconds
• Mets loss - 5 seconds
• Marlins loss - 3 seconds
• Nationals loss - 2 seconds
• Hot Girl in the Stands - 3 seconds
• Tomahawk Chop - When the Chop begins, everybody must start chopping. The last player to begin chopping must finish their beer. If a player goes to the bathroom, they are still playing and must chop.
• Trivia Question - Every player gets 1 unique guess for trivia questions. If the answer contains 3 players, only 1 player must be different to be unique. If any player of the BDG answers trivia question correctly, all others must drink for 8 seconds.
• Obscure Statistic - 3 seconds

Example: Kelly Johnson is hitting .384 with runners on 2^nd and 3^rd and a 2-1 count.

To celebrate the publishing of The Braves Drinking Game, The Ginger-Beard will be chiming in with a live blog of tomorrow's matchup between Josh Beckett and Jair Jurrjens (which I will have to post Saturday). May this game guide Braves fans through Jeff Bennett appearances, balls booted by Chipper, and inexplicable plays by The Cuban Missile for years to come.